To say nothing about hurricanes. Literally.

August 28, 2012 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Deep South, humor 
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Ah, hurricanes.             You live in Mississippi, you get used to it. And tornadoes. And heat. And humidity. And football. All of which cause problems. The only hurricane I have any serious recollection of, personally, is Katrina. I mean, there were others who came and went, tried their best, but Katrina, she meant business. Even as far inland in Mississippi as I was, we still went nearly a week without electricity.   In the searing heat of late August, the lack of electricity tends to leave an indelible mark on you.  Trust me. Still, I have great respect for weather phenomena. I actually love storms,...

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Once upon a time, I went to Michigan, again.

June 21, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: family, humor, life 
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What I remember most about my recent trip to Michigan—though, there’s a part of me that would like to tell you what happened at the casino in Saganing, but it’s too soon—is the fact that I counted nineteen dead raccoons along the highway in a single two-hour ride from Lansing to a lakeside neighborhood outside an almost undetectable town called West Branch. Well, I remember that and also this: I discovered fried green peas. They were at a small grocery store known as Jay’s, which was next to an auto plaza known as Carl’s, which was just down the road from...

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That, right there, is what you call a “teachable moment.”

March 9, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Deep South, education, Everyday, family, humor, life 
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In one of my flippant, wine-accompanied, philosophical moments, the other night, I found myself saying, “Well, if it’s possible, it’s necessary.” It just fell out. You know, I was standing around, my mouth was open, and then, Boom. There it was, a whole sentence, a sentiment of ontological bent, floating around the room. Now, I usually say things for two reasons: Either I like the way it sounds (which is a sort of philosophy in and of itself), or I’m not aware of what I’m saying (which is more often the case). Of course, far be it from me to retract a statement....

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Nothing but the blood: Tigi

March 2, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Deep South, faith, family, humor, life 
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Kirby thinks I ought to pen a few character sketches for you. He and I were talking the other day and he said it’d be nice to explain who some of these people are that I keep writing about. He said it’d increase reader-interest if I described in some detail the repeated members of my sweet, dogged family I refer to so often in my memoir-esque blog. I think that’s a great idea.   For several reasons: first, it’ll certainly help those precious few of you who read this thing with any regularity to have some reference points, and secondly, it’ll be a...

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I couldn’t see the title of the book so it must have been about Scientology.

November 24, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Deep South, Everyday, health, humor, life 
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I There’s a reason people get sick—the attention. But, I’ve discovered as of this morning, there’s a reason good friends drive their sick friends to the doctor and then spend the next two hours in the waiting room having their patience tested—the neighborhood. Of course, this requires explanation. It’s 10:03 AM, and I’ve brought Amanda to the Student Health Center. She’s been very sick to her stomach, and I felt she needed better attention than my telling her to “take it to the toilet” every hour or so. Little did I know the call to action that I was unwittingly engaging myself in. I found...

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God had given him one-half of His Own Right Eye.

August 21, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
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[I like to pretend I'm writing my memoirs, all of them at the same time, and so this is an excerpt from my second memoir, entitled The Deer in the Road. Feel free to edit, as you go along. Just don't let Amanda know.] On the outside looking in, I had a tragic childhood, I know, I’ve read that…but that’s only the way the story goes. It has a whole different feel, when it's told. The truth is I had a very conventional upbringing, for the most part, and it included a lot of church. I was brought up by a great uncle, who was also...

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He'd just always wanted a hearse, he said.

May 25, 2009 by · 3 Comments
Filed under: Everyday 
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U.L. and I like to take Sunday drives, after dinner, each week. There's no rush to this ritual. We enjoy a long dinner with the rest of the family; we gossip, we share news (even the made-up News, an old habit we used to do when I was younger, that's found some way to stick, even to this day). What you do is, you mute the TV, you guess at what's being said by looking at the graphics, and then you tell your version. It was quite a shock, for instance, when I realized that Bush had actually been re-elected, and even greater still,...

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The monsters in my mouth.

May 20, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
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I'm no prude, but violence in any form shocks me. (I'm rather hoping that's a universal statement). But, and here's where we may differ, my response to it is to laugh. Maybe it's a nervous habit, maybe I think it's a deflection on my part to make it less real. I don't know why I do it, but I laugh. And loudly. See, what you might not know about me is that I am the world's most foremost expert at inappropriate laughter.  It just seems easier to laugh at everything, for me.  I get tired of crying. (Though, I've done my share of that,...

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I drank it as if it were holier than Coke.

May 11, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
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Hold on, now. Don't think I'm crazy, entirely, but I have on three separate occasions dreamed things that have then occurred. In actual life.   The first involved a childhood pet, Scruff, who had gone to live with my grandparents at Fish Camp, a family compound surrounded my cabins, ponds, a basic swimming pool, and a torturously long vegetable garden, where we gathered each summer for a fish fry and the annual task of grading blueberries and other such fruit; several on my father's side were in the fruit farm industry; after an afternoon of grading blueberries, there is no child on...

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The Times they are a-strangin'.

May 8, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
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I took a road trip yesterday with Kim and Amanda.  We drove down to the beach, an annual treat, and one of the few things I look forward to the whole year long. Sometimes, two of the few things I look forward to the whole year long, if I can manage to get away again. I'd never taken a trip with Kim and Amanda, at the same time; I've certainly spent time with them separately, and had a wonderful time with each, but I wasn't sure the casserole would take, so to speak, when all the ingredients were added.  We all have...

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