This is a sappy blog, and it was well overdue.
tweet this
The last good day I had was back in 1994, in October, on a Thursday afternoon. I was in line at McDonald's waiting for a milkshake, and the man in front of me turned around and gave me $15 because he liked my smile. That is an absolute lie. I have no record of good days versus bad days. I just try to get through them, either way. Like the rest of the herd. I was reared by a bona fide cynic. I got it honest. Our world view was as follows: Bad day…well, at least, it’s only got 24 hours to live....
The Top 15 Meanest Things You Could Say To Another Person On Purpose, Or Even Worse, Accidentally.
So, I have an evil side. What about it? I don’t like admitting it, but fortunately, by the time you realize it’s true, there’s no point in admitting it because, theoretically, you’re experiencing it, you’re the guy at the other end of it, getting my evil. I’m not sure but somehow that last bit sounded gross, didn’t it. Anyway. I’m human, and being human means coming with an evil side. And it’s a lot easier, every now and again, to revel in that than to pretend otherwise. I don’t try to understand it anymore than I try understanding why people spell words out in front...
"The magic stops here," She said.
I've decided I'm not legitimate until I get a business card. The kink in that plan is that no one has told me who the person is that purchases them for you. That's the way it rolls in Academia. String after string after string all tied to some alleged piece of paper that started the whole trail...probably back in the last 1950s. The thing you don't find out until later is that sometimes it's not even really a piece of paper. It's a person. Or a piece of a person. And it's quite an ingenious plan. I've certainly never seen the person, the...
Mercy Blog, Part 3: A Nearly Christian Apology for Eighth Grade
So, the other day I was in Piggly Wiggly (or as U.L. calls it, The Pig) to purchase an eggplant, and while fondling the produce, legally - i.e., all fruits and vegetables were at least 18 days or older - I overheard two people, down by the locally grown peanuts bin (the peanuts were locally grown, not the bin - it was cardboard) discussing the stupid behavior of one of their other friends...I imagined the friend was the topic of conversation as the result of some weekend revelry. One said, "And I was like, God, this is stupid. You're being so eighth...
Why I Don't Live at the P.O.
In Small Town America, you've got your churches (lots of them; 28 Baptist churches exist in my hometown of 3,000 people, alone), and you've got your grocery stores, which, in a quick-fire pinch, also serve as make-shift churches. They just follow a different line of worship, a la gossip and such. I attend the grocery store with far more regularity, I'm ashamed to say. But, it's only because there's no set, organized amount of time one must spend in a grocery store. There's also no special music, or altar calls. Those can tend toward embarrassment, from time to time. The gist of this comparision...
If you don't want to bleed for it, don't put it in your blood.
I had a terrifying thought, this morning, on the way to work: I'm afraid I might be a duplicitous man. Duplicitous. I used to think that described a man who had lots of love affairs. Would that it were true. But, driving out to campus, I really questioned what I, up until this morning, had believed was my emotional and physical elasticity when in the face of any crisis. Now, I wonder: what if all I've done is misunderstood what I thought was others' general defection of accountability because I'd mislabeled it in my own life? I hate this thought. I've hated it all...
"I hope you're not wadding," she said.
Here is a list, far from exclusive, of things that aggravate me: people on cell phones behind the wheels of cars; vomit; I cannot stand pudding, at all, and other things that fall in that category include meringues and Cool Whip; individuals who misuse (or use at all) the conveyor belts in line at the grocery store, except when absolutely necessary; and cheap toilet paper. Again, this is far from an exclusive list. Of the things listed above, several have affected me in the last 24 hours. Last night I dreamed I couldn't quite get up this rather large hill. It was exhausting,...
Advertise With Us
