I’d never seen a hook rug before, mind you.
tweet thisFiled under: Deep South, family, humor, life, writing
Here’s something you don’t know about me: I used to be a wiz at the art of hook rugging, or if I am to be true to its own terminology—rug hooking. As is usually the case in big families, I was most often the victim of sibling babysitting. It’s nothing short of a hate crime, trust me. Especially when you’re the youngest…and by a wide margin. I was subjected to any number of embarrassing punishments (hook rugging only one among them) which, by sheer force of being such a young age, they each ran the risk of imprinting. And now, in this present...
I guess Boston has everything.
The other evening, Amanda and I were enjoying a small visit with some dear friends. We were sitting around their hip-looking, modern-esque living room (its style is one I envy: its openness and clean lines), and we were sharing a good bottle of Riesling, a bucket of something called Chivda, and a plate of chocolate and peanut butter squares, made by yours truly. Amanda was recounting her recent trip to Boston, in which she was finally able to satisfy a small bit of her boundless love for ethnic foods: Cuban, German, Haitian, Indian, to name several. I guess Boston has everything. And as...
It’s called the triple-count-Rumba-air-fisting-Lindy-Hop.
Filed under: Deep South, Everyday, health, humor, life
I made a mistake, last night. It involved the gym and twenty-two women. I’d like to tell you about it, so I am. I’ve been a faithful team player of a local gym for the past month. It was part of a personal New Year’s resolution slash Christmas gift (from Amanda). And I’ve been a good lover to it. Three or four visits a week, and fully committed each visit, and giving 100% of my attention to her…you name it, and I’ve paid for it. Admittedly, I was gone most of last week, so I hadn’t been courting her properly. Guilt got the better...
She had bangs and then some.
Filed under: Deep South, education, Everyday, humor, life
I was involved in an incident, yesterday. On campus. Completely by accident, mind you. Here’s the back story: So, each afternoon, I teach Comp. I. which is a sheer delight, as all students love this class. In order for me to even consider getting through the first fifteen minutes of it, I either pretend to shoot up, or crumble beneath the slightest suggestive thought of having a Diet Coke. Don’t worry: I recycle. (Except the pretend needles; those I throw away). I terribly needed a Diet Coke, yesterday. The thrill of Scooba had gotten to me. (Even despite the very real thrill of NYC,...
I’m calling this a Flash Blog*
Filed under: Deep South, education, Everyday, writing
I’m going to write a story. I swear, I’m going to. I told myself that this morning. I said, Before this day is over, whatever else you do, write a damn story, Sit down in front of a computer, a notebook, an envelope, or toilet paper, and write something. It doesn’t matter what, just so long as it’s put to some form of paper and has a beginning, middle, and end. Or, something that resembles a beginning, middle, and an end. So, here I am. I’m sitting in front of a computer, several hours away from day’s end, and I’ve turned off the TV, and I’ve...
Isn’t everything always in the trunk?
It wasn’t a lot of ice, but still, this morning, stuck to my windshield, there it was. Even more interesting to see, as it glinted in the waking sunlight, was that it had formed itself to the shmear, shall we call it?, left by my windshield wipers from the evening before; I’d used nearly the last of my washer fluid to clean the windshield. So, this morning, I had crystals galore, streaked in long, fluid (and a little tattered-y, because my wipers are in jeopardy of learning cursive handwriting, so bad are they) rivers of frozen delight. I know this is going to...
And this is why people buy cocoa butter.
Filed under: Deep South, Everyday, food, health, humor
I’m going to tell you a secret: I’ve joined a gym. I’m not going to tell what all my reasons for doing this were, but it doesn’t seem to matter because I’m losing weight, and discovering that the nice, firmer shape I had way back during my halcyon tennis days hasn’t actually moved off to Wisconsin. It’s just been hibernating under a large, more-than-adequate supply of cheese, soft drinks, and vending machine goodies. Because let’s face it – that’s all a vending machine has. The one on campus, in Scooba, even has Necco wafers…two kinds. But, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to get...
Yes, Virginia, I am a vegetarian.
Filed under: Deep South, education, Everyday, faith, family, food, health, humor, life
You know what’s hard? Yoga. You know what’s harder than that? Trying to explain yoga to your precious family of aging Southern Baptists. Because if it’s not explicitly typed in the King James version of the Holy Bible then it’s most likely of the devil, who probably created yoga to trick Christians into performing exercises that would get them into positions they couldn’t get out of, thus holding them in place so he could catch them. But, yoga is a later issue. First, we have to address a more pressing item, though there are several items overall, not the least of which is the fact...
As for lawn darts, I have but one thing to say: Why.
Filed under: Deep South, Everyday, family, humor, life
I don’t fully understand them, but I love genetics. It’s (or, is it they’re? – collective nouns are frustrating when they refer to science), like, the best excuse for anything in the world. And in my family, we’ve got some pretty screwy genetics. Some issues, hands down, I don’t even try and argue around. We’re a crazy breed. Done. I get it, so why fight that. Take the pill, swallow it, lean back and thank the Good Lord above that some doctor somewhere realized that a brain is full of switches and some can be turned off. Others, vis-à-vis my mother, just have...
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